Girl Tries to Fall Asleep in 60 Seconds

During the week, I function like a normal human being. I get up around 7:30, struggle through a quick workout, waste time playing with my dogs, and am inevitably late to work.

During the weekends; however, I function like a fat vampire. I stay up until the wee morning hours, eating everything in sight. Seriously, last weekend I ate so much at brunch that I physically couldn’t eat until a full 12 hours later. Most doctors would caution you against this lifestyle, but I say screw it, it’s the weekend.

Following a weekend of partying, binge eating, and staying up until 3, I find myself having the same problem every Sunday- I can’t fall asleep. With Monday morning looming, I find myself scrolling through Twitter at 1 am, reminding myself that “If I can fall asleep right now, that’s still 6 hours of sleep.”

Naturally, when I heard about this new study, which suggests a simple breathing technique that can help you fall asleep in 60 seconds, I was pumped.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Keep the tip of your tongue against the back of your upper front teeth the whole time, so that you exhale around the tongue. If this feels weird, purse your lips a bit.
  2. Exhale completely, make an audible whoosh sound
  3. Close mouth, quietly inhale for a count of four
  4. Hold your breath for a count of 7
  5. Exhale, making a whoosh sound again, for a count of 8
  6. Repeat this cycle 3 times, or for four full breaths

Seems easy enough, right? So I gave it a go.

Let me start with the disclaimer that you shouldn’t try this if you share a bed with someone, as they will likely think you’re going into cardiac arrest and try to resuscitate you.┬áLuckily, I get my bed all to myself; however, my erratic breathing did seem to make my dogs nervous.

I tried this breathing exercise twice, rereading the instructions in between, to ensure I did it right. It sucked. Unless the idea is to hold your breath long enough that you just faint, I don’t see how this is going to lull you to sleep. I felt like a jet engine with a lisp from doing the weird tongue thing, and trying to count how long I was holding my breath just stressed my out and made me more awake. Maybe do this breathing exercise first thing in the morning if you want to start your day feeling like you’re being suffocated. Perhaps you need a certain environment to do this successfully, or perhaps they left out the step where you actually pop some Ambien and doze off, who knows.

Though it didn’t work for me, I still invite you all to try it and give me your feedback on how it went.

Don’t forget to subscribe and follow @GirlTriesStuff on Twitter ­čÖé

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4 thoughts on “Girl Tries to Fall Asleep in 60 Seconds

  1. Lol, good post. I just realized that I have been doing this wrong. I breath in for about 7, hold 4, out 8. THAT makes me fall asleep fast.

    Like

  2. Ha! I was trying this the other week. Even searched online to see demonstrations – I was convinced I was doing it wrong.
    Good to know it sucks and it’s not just me!

    Like

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